Life is about Balance. Or is it?

I've spent a lot of time and most of my life in the pursuit of "Balance." I've been a huge proponent of work-life balance. Make sure you aren't working so much, where you don't have time to have a life too. Workout and then have a cupcake because well "Balance." Am I right? Go on a spending spree, then tighten the belt the next month...balance. Balance everything. Balance all the plates in the air and don't let one drop. Exhausting.

A few years ago a good friend and I had a conversation about this exact thing. She said, "Maybe it's not about balance, but about alignment instead." Bringing all the things in your life into alignment so you can move in the direction of your dreams. This hit me to my core.

As hard as I was trying to balance everything, including being a new mom, I could never get the weights just right to equal each other. No matter how I tried to design things, it always seemed that one area of my life or another was taking the lead and I felt that I was neglecting another. Spending too much time building my dream business, and neglecting time with my newborn son. Or spending all day snuggling him because he wouldn't wait to grow up, and feeling like I had neglected my clients. Spending too much time cleaning the house, and feeling like I was neglecting my creative outlet. For some reason or another, I always felt "out of balance." And felt like I wasn't getting it. Like I was failing at being a work from home mom.

When my friend mentioned this concept of alignment, my mindset started to shift. What if I could do all the things I wanted and have them all build towards the life I have always dreamed of? Could I really figure this out after all my failed time trying to find balance? What if I could fill my days with everything I wanted to do and clear off the stuff I didn't truly want? Now I know there are things we just have to do that don't entirely excited us all that much, but what if these were the exception? What if I could focus on my purpose and do that the best I know how, and on repeat? What if I could figure out how to get compensated for doing what I love? All day. Every day. Stephen Covey calls this your "zone of genius." I.e. The one thing God made me (He did the same for you too.) better equipped than 20 million people by calibrating my strength skill set how he did. (Strengths Finder 2.0) How do I even find what that is and how do I do that to the best of my ability? And then how do I turn around and help the next person to do the same? (Lesson to come: "The how ain't your job." All you need to do is decide you want something.)

I started asking myself, "What do I want?" This step takes inner reflection. What has God been putting on my heart to do? What do I feel inspired to do? What is my calling? What did God put me on this earth to do? Do I really want a purpose-driven life? What does my dream day look like? What do I want on my plate and what do I want to take off? If I couldn't fail at this, what would I do? What do I want my kids' childhoods filled with? What do I want to do to serve my family, community, and God? What do I want this life to look like?

After deciding what I wanted, the next question is always, "Then what do I need to do?" The hardest part of this for me was trusting this inner wisdom. Trusting that it is coming from God's inspirations in my life. His nudges. What paralyzed me for years is, I knew what I wanted. I knew how I wanted to serve my family, my community, and ultimately God, but I didn't know how in the world I was going to get it done. Building a Permaculture village of families across the world, feeding themselves nutritious foods, while repairing the damage done to our environment seems daunting. Yes I can do this. Yes I want to do this. But How in the world?? It wasn't until I put my trust in God did resources start showing up, people started showing up, I found myself in the craziest "right places" at the right time. To the point that I can no longer believe in coincidences. It has to be God orchestrating this stuff. It just has to be, because there is no logical explanations as to how these things are coming together. And I might be just starting out on this path, but I have a strong hunch its going to work out more beautifully that I could ever imagine, because I have the Creator of the Universe at the helm.

It's taken a few years of intentionally experimenting with this and adapting my days and in turn adapting my life to bring things into alignment. It took me by surprise one day when someone told me, "You sure look and sound like your busy. With toddler, baby on the way, master's program, holistic nutritionist courses, building a homesite in a new state." It stopped me in my tracks because I have always been anti-"busy." Annoyed with the constant drum from society's myth that if you aren't busy you are lazy or not important. So when she said this, I needed to stop and ask myself. "Is there something I need to shift?" The answer became a resounding no, because I am not busy for the sake of busyness. I have a lot of irons going, but they all related to each other and are all aligned. First I am a mom, so that means I get to spend as much time with my kiddos as I can and want to. I have my Master's program, business development, homesite development, and holistic nutrition courses all building to the same thing...Juneau Garden Farm. I'm not chasing all over the place. All my ducks are going to the same pond. "Pick one thing and stay in your lane until you master it."-Kobe Bryant.

All I need to do is follow the steps being laid out in front of me. Just answering, "what's the next right step?" Not trying to get from here to the end goal in one full swoop. It is fun to watch this unfold. It is energizing to get to spend my days how I choose, knowing, trusting that God is in control and working everything out for my good. Even when it doesn't look like he is from my perspective. But it's not really faith until it looks the thing you want more than anything isn't going to happen. That is when real faith is formed, practiced, and strengthened.

Its times like this I am reminded of a cross-stitch. If you are looking up at it from the bottom, it looks like a tangled mess of strings. Its nearly impossible to make out the picture. Everything is just jumbled. But if you look down at it from above, the picture is very clearly revealed to you.

So remember, there is a big difference between being busy for the sake of being busy and feeling like you need a break from all that is filling your plate, you feel drained, and uninspired. Feeling like you need to keep all the plates spinning in the air and not drop one of them. VS being "busy" with things that all align with the life you want. Where you are constantly being filled, encouraged, energized by the activities you have going on, you get to spend your time exactly how you want it, with exactly who you want, when you want.

It's all a matter of mindset. What do you believe is true for your life? Which one do you choose is right for you? Remember, you get to choose again and again until its just right for you.